Welch Whirl

NYC & Airport - Day 3 & 4

Dear Wiley, Rosa, and Eva,

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. (That reference will make more sense when you're older and Dad introduces you to A Tale of Two Cities.) First, the best. There was a forecast for snow on Saturday, so we decided to spend the day indoors in the theater. The first show we saw was West Side Story. It's your classic girl meets boy, boy kills girl's brother in a fistfight gone bad under the bridge, all set in Spanish Harlam. Let's just say it's a show only for Mommys and Daddys. Here's Mom outside the theater in her coat on loan from Luke Skywalker at the beginning of Star Wars: Episode V -- Wiley, you know the one -- it's the one Luke wears while riding the Ton-Ton.


After the show, we went for food. We started with dessert -- just like we do at home. It was a place called "Chikalicious" and we ordered a three-course meal. But the best part is this: all three courses were desserts! Here is course #2: Cheesecake.


After dessert we went for a healthy dose of vegetables: fries. These were authentic "Belgium fries" from a place called "Pommes Frites" -- complete with rosemary-garlic, thyme, and our personal favorite, mango dipping sauces. (Mommy got some plain old ketchup just to be safe.) Yummy.


After dinner we set out for one of every tourist's most common experiences in New York. Not the Empire State Building, not the Statue of Liberty, not having an awkward confrontation with a panhandler -- no, I'm talking about trying to find a bathroom in Times Square. Thankfully, the good people of Charmin were there to help us out.

We went up an escalator and entered a world that can only be described as High School Musical meets the latrines. There was singing (about going potty). There was (potty) dancing. There was cheering (about going potty). It was bizarre -- yet strangely motivating. After fifteen minutes of enjoying the show, we were admitted into stalls that would have made the Waldorf-Astoria proud. Each one was as big as a small apartment. Each one had four kinds of toilet paper (so you could sample -- the best one had aloe). And each one had an iPod, so you could listen to your favorite "jam" while you, ahem, enjoyed the facility. This is Daddy emerging from his five minutes of paradise -- by the way, he chose the song "Bad" by Michael Jackson. Fitting.


After we finished, the cast members of the Charmin show invited us to "rate your go." Yes, that's exactly what they called it. Sharalee gave hers a "cartwheeler" and Ben opted for a "champion" -- just one degree shy of the highest level of "moonshiner," which, even after much discussion, we're not quite sure what means. Anyhoo ...


After our Charmin experience, we went to the evening show -- "The 39 Steps" -- which was putatively an adaptation of Alfred Hitchcock's film of the same name, but was remade as a comedy. Very funny. When we emerged from the theater, however, we discovered that what had only been coming down as light fluff before had now evolved into what newscasters later called "one of the top five worst storms in the last 140 years in NYC."

Great. And just on the night before we were supposed to go home.


Which brings us to the worst of times. Currently, Ben and I are nestled cozily in a corner of JFK airport. We have been bumped from two flights and are now spending the night in terminal 14 on a couch that appears to have been designed by Tim Burton to resemble a spleen (see below).


Don't cry for us, we're having fun still and are reasonably comfortable. But just everybody pray that we make our 7:26 flight to Las Vegas. Check-in is at 2:26 a.m. -- so if you're up at that hour, feel free to petition on our behalf.

Well, kids, we are excited to see you again and tell you more about our adventures. Hopefully, we'll be on our way while you're still nestled all snug in your beds dreaming of sugarplums and LEGOs and teething cookies ...

Love you,

Mom & Dad